Desmond's Dancing Dragon
by Blue Panda
Summary: Desmond wants to show off his dancing dragon but how can he if Jack is Nirvana, Sawyer has a cooking class and there's a random vending machine that wont give Locke Doridos? R


**A/N:** _This is a one shot OMG! I don't write one shots! If you want me to write another chapter or sequel you guys need to let me know. Enjoy. By the way the last Lost episode was Jackrific!_

_Once upon a time there was a dude named Desmond and he found a dragon after throwing a toaster at a tree…he later discovered it could dance…_

_Desmond walked up to Hurley_

**Desmond:** Hey brother check out my dancing dragon!

**Hurley:** I can't dude

_Sniff sniff sniff_

**Desmond:** Why not?

**Hurley:** Cuz I'm having a serious problems

**Desmond:** What?

**Hurley:** I can't figure out the directions on this shampoo bottle and I don't have a phone to call the 1-800 number on the back. What am I supposed to do! I don't know how to wash my hair!

_Sobbing out of control!_

**Desmond:** I'm terrible sorry Hurley! Come on dragon lets go find someone else to show off your incredible dancing skills!

_They then heard some commotion behind some trees_

_Desmond and his Dancing Dragon walk over to find Locke, Boone and Sayid staring at a vending machine._

**Desmond:** Hey guys check out my pet dragon!

_They didn't hear him_

**Sayid:** Maybe if we hug it, it will give us something!

**Locke:** That's a good Idea

**Sayid:** Thanks John

**Locke:** Boone go hug it

**Boone:** Why me?

**Locke:** Cuz your loving

**Boone:**_ Grawl_

_Boone hugged the vending machine_

**Boone:** There you happy it didn't work

**Desmond:** Hey guys!

**Sayid:** What? Oh hi Desmond!

**Desmond:** You guys want to see my dragon dance?

**Boone:** We can't we don't have money and we want some Doritos out of this vending machine

**Desmond:** Did you try telling it that it looks hot

**Locke:** Yes three times already

**Desmond:** Oh well sorry guys…do you know where Jack is?

**Sayid:** He's at the caves

**Desmond**: See ya later

**Locke:** Try kicking it Boone…

_Desmond and his Dragon he now calls Skeeter skipped over to the caves_

**Jack:**

_Load up on guns  
Bring your friends  
Its fun to lose  
And to pretend  
Shes overboard  
Myself assured  
I know I know  
A dirty word_

Hello (x 16)

**Charlie:** Go Jack Go! Yeah!

**Desmond:** What's going on?

**Charlie:** Jacks acting like Nirvana!

**Jack:**

_With the lights out its less dangerous  
Here we are now  
Entertain us  
I feel stupid and contagious  
Here we are now  
Entertain us  
A mulatto  
An albino  
A mosquito  
My libido  
Yea_

**Desmond:** Wow I can't understand him!

**Charlie:** Right! He's acting like Nirvana!

**Desmond:** Well do you want to see my dragon dance?

**Charlie:** Not now brother Jack's a bloody rock god like me!

**Desmond:** Ok maybe later where's Kate?

**Charlie:** She's at the beach

_Desmond and his Dancing Dragon flew to the beach_

**Kate:** Ok girls now breathe

**Desmond:** What's going on here?

**Claire:** Kate is teaching us Yoga!

**Sun:** Oh hi Desmond what to join us?

**Desmond:** It looks painful…I mean look at you. Your legs are over your head and you're walking on you hands while blowing a kazoo.

**Sun:** Oh well I can't feel it.

**Desmond:** Well do you want to see my dragon break dance

**Sun:** Once my class is finish I will

**Desmond:** Ok…we're sawyer?

**Sun:** In a tree house

**Desmond:** Ok see ya later!

_Desmond and his dragon slithered to the tree house_

**Sawyer:** Ok remember to put the fettuccini in the taco not in the pork then mix the grapes with the ketchup and poor it into the muffin pan.

**Desmond:** Whatcha doing Sawyer?

**Sawyer:**…hosting a cooking show what does it look like I'm doing?

**Desmond:** Uhhh…I guess your cooking…

**Desmond:** You want to see my dragon do the robot?

**Sawyer:** No that's not cooking…bug me later…

**Desmond**: Ok then…where's Mr. Eko?

**Sawyer:** Floating on the ocean over there…

**Desmond:** Ok bye Sawyer!

**Sawyer:** Now let's put the corn in with the hot sauce and mix it in with the cheese this will be the icing for the cookies!

_Desmond and his dragon walk on water over to Mr. Eko_

**Desmond:** Hi Eko!

**Eko:** Don't bug me man. I'm doing heart surgery on Jin…Crap I just cut his aorta…oh well what did you want?

**Desmond:** What to see my dragon dance?

**Eko:** Umm not now I got patients waiting Libby is next I'm doing brain surgery on her…

**Desmond:** Ok then…good luck with that

_Desmond and his dragon pogo sticked there way pack to land._

_There they found Vincent_

**Desmond:** Hi Vincent!

**Vincent:** Bark

**Desmond:** Whatcha doing?

**Vincent:** Woof

**Desmond:** Building an airport…that's cool. What to se my dragon dance?

**Vincent:** Bark

**Desmond:** Sorry didn't know you were allergic to Dragons See you later.

**Vincent:** Woof

**Desmond:** Boy dragon who wants to see you dance.

**Voice:** I want to see him dance!

**Desmond:** Ok…Donald Trump?

**Donald Trump:** Yeah I fired myself by accident…

**Desmond:** How'd you do that?

**Donald Trump:** Ate too much of Sawyer food…I guess…

**Desmond:** Ok dragon dance like there is no tomorrow

_Suddenly Donald Trump died…_

**Desmond:** Damn he didn't see my dragon dance! Boy this just isn't my day is it…

**Dragon:** We could go to Congo?

**Desmond:** Thanks a great idea!

_Desmond and his Dragon borrowed Captains Kirk teleporter and teleported themselves to Congo._

_They then got suck on a ferrous wheel. There they danced in till aliens abducted them and they became the super star entertainers of Pluto. They got rich and then moved to Austria were they bought a sandwich. They lived happily ever after._

_Meanwhile…_

**Hurley:** I still can't wash my hair!!!!!!

The End

**A/N:** _I tried calling the number on the shampoo bottle before I posted this but the line said that it was not open in till Monday at 8:00 am Eastern Time…shoot!_


End file.
